Spuds. Spuds with butter and salt. No, with sour cream. The potato, a root vegetable native to the Americas, is a member of the nightshade family. Why are potatoes called spuds? After a dagger-shaped spade? No. Or maybe after the Society for the Prevention of an Unhealthy Diet. Nope. The Irish Potato Famine began in 1845. The meaning of SPUD is lost in the fog of history, but the ashes of the man who invented the Pringles can is buried in a Pringles can.
The Ritalin kicks in. The world slides into focus. I’ll have potatoes with butter and salt, please.