Weird night, Ralph thinks. It adds up. Full moon. His night watchman’s superior sixth sense. Ralph creeps downhill to the koi pond, luminous in the light of the harvest moon. The fish, transformed into golden-scaled wyrmlings, arise to encircle the Fountain of David, eternally poised to slay the giant. Then they dance. Shimmying on spiny…
Search Results for: Lisa H. Owens
A Glitch in Time
I pat myself on the shoulder as I simultaneously enter and leave the steamy bathroom. I’m appalled at the state of myself, clad in sagging boxers, love-handles spilling over the elastic waistband, and what little hair I’ve retained, a sparse comb-over spread thin across my scalp. I shave then shower, annoyed that, once again, I’ve…
The Art of Malingering
Granny squeals when she slips in the wet spot and I hold my breath, anticipating the fall that’s coming. Time slows as her feet shoot out from under her and she’s airborne, upper-arm flesh flapping like bat wings. Her wig falls over her forehead, lips twisting in panic, and I nearly break character to catch…
Brother Jeremiah’s Liar-Liar Elixir
Footage on social media had Jane tapping ‘Buy It Now.’ Within the hour, the doorbell rang. She was accosted by mayhem and sirens as she lifted the jar from the front stoop, its amber glass glimmering as if touched by God. If this didn’t inspire the bastard to change… Edgar staggered in an hour late,…
Speed-Date Night at the Senior Center
Mother Nature and Father Time studied one another across the candlelit two-top. Dozens of such tables filled the room, the air abuzz with lively chatter. “Have we met, ummm…” Time squinted at the ‘My Name Is:’ tag attached by stag beetles to her leafy muumuu, “…Gaia?” Gaia giggled at his name-tag stuck askew in his…
The Rescue Pup
The pup bounded through the meadow, chasing his nemesis, a crusty tennis ball that had seen better days. He pounced upon the wretched fiend, latched onto Ball with his oversized puppy paws—sunk his teeth into it for good measure. Then he plopped down to smooth its faded yellow surface with his floppy pink tongue. A…
A Conversation Regarding the Effects of Shrooms
“Your eyes are funny. You trippin’, man?” “Uh huh.” “What are you on?” “Shrooms, man.” “I remember shrooms. In my college days, they had me trippin’ balls. Seein’ things. Talkin’ to ghosts and such.” “I know whatcha mean, man. Magic mushrooms wrote my senior thesis. My professor said it was the most detailed paper he’d…