At twilight I pass by the darkening Thames, through copses adjoining suburban streets, down cobbled paths, and up rutted lanes, leaping wild brambles behind rolled-out lawns, inhaling woodsmoke and cool dusking air.
Then dayspring’s hope dies—like a grimoire unfolding, shadows join forces and bleed into one.
But dotted like sentries patrolling the path, nice people lurk. Dogwalkers, cig smokers, workers returning; a fleeting society, unbidden, shapeless—we who left houses and firesides and streetlights behind—neighbourly strangers on missions unsung, communing through nods and wry, demilune smiles and…
Then we disperse, this ashen kingdom blows away, gone today, here tomorrow.
A well written, visual feast for the senses. Kudos.
Thank you!
Hello Matt ,
Well written with magnificent manipulation of sentence structure.
Thank you, appreciated.
I’ve read a couple of hundred microfiction pieces and this is the best
piece I’ve read. I usually hate when people try to make prose sound poetic, but your piece is sheer poetry, every word carefully chosen
to be part of the poetic, rhythmic, flawless cadence. The words all
fall into place like a waterfall. You made the English language beautiful!
These phrases: “shadows join forces and bleed into one” and to the
end: “neighbourly strangers on missions unsung, communing through nods and wry, demilune smiles and…
Then we disperse, this ashen kingdom blows away, gone today, here tomorrow.”
I don’t know 100% what your meaning is, but I have my own interpretation, and it works for me! I love this story.
Thanks so much, such encouraging feedback!
I did focus more than usual on the meter, it sort of turned into a prose poem rather than starting out as one. Not my usual writing style at all in fact, but I’m glad it worked out….
The cadence makes the sentences flow and the visual imagery makes it a pleasure to read. “Demilune” and “grimoire”, wonderful diction!
Thanks for the treat.
The juxtaposition of “nice” and “lurk” is interesting, unexpected.
I really love this piece, Matt, and what it captures of a city’s perpetually shifting ambience. I’m also a sucker for beautiful language, and what you’ve done here is astounding.
Beautiful words that conjure up vivid imagery! I really enjoyed it!