By Jack Larkham
“I’m looking for a guy,” I say.
She’s got her scrawny leg wedged in the door. Pockmarks all over her sunken face.
“Aren’t we all,” she cackles. She’s got three teeth, tops.
“Billy,” I say, showing her the photo.
She shakes her head. She’s Billy’s wife, but looks more like his gran.
“His car’s out there in the driveway.”
She kicks me in the nuts and bolts down the hallway.
Billy’s curled up on the sofa. Dribbling, shaking. A puddle of sick on the floral carpet.
I shoot him in the mouth. A message. It feels more like a mercy killing.
The title of the story and the story content do not match. This reads more like a mob hit not a mercy killing.
Thanks Dante. It *is* a hit of sorts, but Billy is so pathetic and unthreatening that it feels more like a mercy killing, as it says in the last line.
“Pockmarks all over her sunken face.”, “She’s got three teeth, tops.” and “A puddle of sick on the floral carpet.” suggests to me that the person is a meth addict in which case the title makes sense.
Thanks Tom!
In my mind you made the point with your last line–Good job–An interesting read.
Thanks James!
Down and dirty. Nice, gritty hard-boiled fiction. Liked it a lot.
Thanks Bobby. Glad you liked it!
You set the scene and delivered the message! Nice. 🙂
Thanks Avalina!
Very enjoyable. Dark and sharp at the same time.
I stumbled slightly over the “She kicks me in the nuts and bolts down the hallway” line, because my brain kept reading “nuts and bolts” as what the narrator was kicked in. However, I did enjoy the pun there 🙂
Thanks Ian. Glad you liked the pun – I have to say it wasn’t intentional though! Didn’t realise it reads that way till you just mentioned it. I’ll still take the compliment though!