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Meter Box Blues

October 20, 2022 19 Comments

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British Gas doesn’t make allowances for toads. They don’t care that whenever I open my meter cupboard, I risk the toad jumping in my face.

They say, “Just ignore it; we need a reading.”

I say, “If you want a reading, send a man.”

They say, “Our workers are not insured for potential toad injuries.”

I say, “What about me?”

They say, “You don’t need insurance; it’s your house.”

So, we go round in circles, and I keep getting estimated bills, and the toad lives happily in the cupboard and occasionally sees my frightened face peering in, wondering if I dare…

By Debbi Voisey

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Andy says

    October 20, 2022 at 2:56 am

    Very funny. It reminded me of Larkin’s poem “Toads.”

    Reply
    • Debbi Voisey says

      October 20, 2022 at 5:12 am

      Thank you so much. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Derek says

    October 20, 2022 at 7:16 am

    This is excellent. I toadally enjoyed it.

    Reply
    • Debbi Voisey says

      October 20, 2022 at 10:30 am

      *groan

      Thank you x

      Reply
  3. Howard Dart Humeston says

    October 20, 2022 at 8:08 am

    I love it! Representative of our modern inconveniences these post pandemic days. Also, nicely written. Write more!

    Reply
    • Debbi Voisey says

      October 20, 2022 at 10:31 am

      Thanks… this was a result of my mum having terrible trouble reading her meter… long story, but this one is not. Ha ha.

      Reply
  4. Phil Temples says

    October 20, 2022 at 9:22 am

    Nicely done!

    Reply
    • Debbi Voisey says

      October 20, 2022 at 10:31 am

      Thank you

      Reply
  5. Jillian Collette says

    October 20, 2022 at 10:34 am

    Love this!!! Adorable story to start my day. Thank you!!

    Reply
  6. Jerry Jerman says

    October 20, 2022 at 10:55 am

    Wonderfully weird. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

    Reply
  7. Valli Henry-Boldini says

    October 20, 2022 at 12:05 pm

    Lol… good read… kudos…

    Reply
  8. Susan Morehouse says

    October 20, 2022 at 1:23 pm

    Charming, and just right! Thank you.

    Reply
  9. Miche Hart says

    October 20, 2022 at 1:58 pm

    Lovely mischievous little read xx

    Reply
  10. Miche Hart says

    October 20, 2022 at 2:00 pm

    A wonderful mischievous little read xx

    Reply
  11. Tim Goldstone says

    October 21, 2022 at 6:25 am

    Gorgeous opening line!

    Reply
  12. yogita says

    October 21, 2022 at 8:40 am

    Charming! Thoroughly enjoyed this

    Reply
  13. David Lewis says

    October 26, 2022 at 8:47 am

    Never thought I’d stumble on you here, Debbi. Nice one! But what’s wrong with toads? Nice intelligent creatures. Get over it!

    Reply
  14. Chetana Vaishnavi says

    October 26, 2022 at 10:53 am

    This month I have got an inflated bill because they could not read the meter.
    And l am not insured.

    Reply
  15. Doug Jacquier says

    October 27, 2022 at 8:36 am

    If you don’t pay the bill, will your electricity be toad away? 😉

    Reply

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