Colin Fisher was cleaning his teeth one night when his wife sent him a text message that was meant for her lover. For one silly, tender moment, Colin thought it was for him but then he understood it wasn’t, and twenty years of marriage disintegrated while the toothpaste dripped from his mouth.
He went into the bedroom where his wife lay. He looked at her phone and she looked at him. Then he smiled a sad smile and took her in his arms, and over the following weeks and months and years he killed her with his terrible and unrelenting forgiveness.
wickedly good story
Dear Salvatore – thank you very much for your kind comment – wicked indeed!
Ooh, superb ending in those last four words. Good work.
Dear Lindsay – thank you for your kind feedback. The word ‘terrible’ when used sparingly can be quite chilling.
Fabulous.
Dear David – thank you for your comment. Hugely appreciated. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Well done!
Dear Marjan – thank you. It’s very gratifying to read such comments.
“…unrelenting forgiveness” very strong last words to this one, the cherry on top of the proverbial sundae. Well done.
Dear David – thank you. I wanted the ending to indicate how unyielding the man was, and perhaps hint at why his wife had sought refuge elsewhere…
Everyone has already said it but I have to say it too. This is sooo good. I can feel it!
Dear Constanée – It’s always nice to hear it again, though! And thank you for taking the time to comment. I’m glad the atmosphere within the story came across. Thank you..
Game over! Game, set, match. Checkmate. Good job, but grab a knife and do it right, or spend forever with a part-time lover.
Hi – goodness, that’s certainly one way of ending a game of chess! I’m glad you enjoyed it and thank you for taking the time to comment. Greatly appreciated.
I agree. A very good story with a strong ending.
Hi Derek – thank you for your kind comment. I’m glad it worked. Endings are so important and I’m glad this one worked.
I also really enjoyed this, and didn’t expect the ending – even though the title should have given it away.
Dear Kathryn – thank you for your comment. Very kind of you. I think the title might be the weakest part of the story – it’s apt but you’re right, it might pre-empt the ending. So pleased you enjoyed it, though. Thank you.
Loved the wonderfully different ending!
Dear Vivian – thank you for your kind comment. The ending just flowed and as soon as I’d written it, I knew it was right. The challenge then was to mute the opening as much as possible so as to hit the ending as hard as possible. Thank you.
So good – we so often sacrifice poignancy for shock value. Taking the high road made it so much better!
Dear Scott – thank you. With 101 words I thought it best to focus on the atmosphere and how it hardened as the scene developed through certain key words – ‘silly’, ‘tender’, ‘disintegrated’, ‘unrelenting’, ‘terrible’ and so on. I’m glad it worked and that you enjoyed it.
Brilliant work. Loved it
Dear Jon – thank you! It’s always great to read such feedback.
Absolute perfection!
Dear Susan – thank you! This story just flowed and the hard, almost metallic ending was a pleasure to write. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Brilliant! More from you, please
Dear Mary – thank you. That is great feedback. I’m a full-time writer which means I don’t get out much! So comments such as yours are greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Sorry – I already commented once, but I reread this and it is SO good I felt like I didn’t do it justice before. My wife loved it too. James Ellis – please keep writing!
Dear Scott – hi again! And thank you again for your generous and encouraging comments. I’m a full-time writer so the words will keep tumbling out for as long as I can think of them. Kind regards to your wife and I’m glad she enjoyed the story too.
Just read it and am an admirer, would like to read more of your stories.
Dear Nina – thank you for taking the time both to read the story and to comment. Hugely appreciated and I’m glad you liked it. I’m a full-time writer – novels and short stories, with a scattering of flash and micro-fiction. I will definitely submit to 101 words again, not least because of their discerning readers!