Soon I will have what I want. Don’t misunderstand. What I want has nothing to do with money, fame, and woman. Those are side affects; calluses on my achievements. The things I will do will change the world. My world. Because that is what it will become. My world. And I will keep it in a dilapidated shed just beyond the broken refrigerator and rotting tires on my 5 acre parcel of land in Montana. I will keep it safe, monitor my progress, and take thorough notes. If you blow me I will let you have visiting rights. Please don’t beg.
Motionless at 80 mph on this path of distractions the dotted line is relentless in its consistency, stretching out, seemingly forever, until the water has its way. In the mean time the clouds inhale fumes and eavesdrop on the rising hushed tones of rubber on pavement, and the occasional splash of metal against metal. The trees wait in the margins for the destiny of their ancestors who once stood here, whispering signs of expansion as the garbage in the gutters gets closer and closer, until one day they put up a cement wall and paint trees on it. What the fuck?
Starchild was born in the sixties, but she went supernova in the nineties. Somehow her hair is silver, her nails chrome, and her eyes look like one of those Christmas ornaments you turn upside down to make it snow. She wore sunglasses a lot because guys were always complimenting them. “I’ve never seen anyone with eyes quite like yours”, they would say. And every time she would reply, “Thats because I am the only one on this planet with eyes like these!”. In ’98 she got picked up by a cop hitch-hiking. He didn’t like her glasses. I miss her hair.
I woke from a nightmare. I was back in the womb. My current knowledge and awareness in tact. I knew what was to come. I could hear the despair and regret in their voices. They didn’t want me. I didn’t want the world. Impossible to communicate. When I wasn’t having the dream, distraction came in many forms; TV, work, sex, shopping. Petty! All of it. The dream was reoccurring for 9 months. Finally the contractions began. I was born. I woke crying, slick with sweat. I reached for my gun, no ammo, so I went to work and tried to forget.
Dark alleys, seedy bars, abandoned factories, empty houses, and under bridges; that’s where we lurk. My friend and I have been searching five years for a vampire. I know how it sounds, but we actually met her in a cemetery we used to frequent. She taunted us, told us if we could find her she would give us the ultimate gift of immortality. Occasionally we catch glimpses of shadows that move in ways they are not supposed to. I think she is watching us. And why not? Immortality would force you to be creative with the way you spend your time.
The place was haunted. Not by ghosts, but by thoughts. People’s thoughts were projected like holograms. We used to go there. It was the most intimate experience I could think of. Windows and doors to our minds were wide open, our essences spilling out into the tiny shack. Sex seemed silly after that. Although, we sometimes laid in bed and watched our projected sexuality’s make love on the ceiling. It was better. No condoms. I woke up once. She was dreaming and I watched as she was walking along a deserted street looking for something or someone. I carefully followed her.
The milk was sour today, but I didn’t have any cereal so it didn’t matter. I left without eating and decided to stop at the store. I only had $1.50 so I had to choose between coffee and something to eat. Coffee won. Coffee always wins. On the way out the door I tripped and dropped my coffee as I was falling down. Someone had lost a 5 dollar bill and it was laying in the puddle of coffee. I picked up the empty cup along with the wet 5 dollar bill and went back inside. I bought a blueberry muffin.