By S. Stopforth
After her release from the hospital, Rita kept two sets of books.
In one, she wrote of birds drifting downward through fire-edged clouds. Butter melting on fresh-baked bread. The grassy scent of line-dried sheets. She hid these books, but not carefully, hoping that Lily might find them and stop looking.
In the other set, which she buried in a cardboard box filled with yellowing college papers and empty papier-mâché bowls, she mapped the dimensions of the pit. Its dreary furnishings. The curious way its walls swallowed sound. And the unconvincing nature of the light she occasionally glimpsed from its unscalable depths.
Great start to a possibly longer, supernatural story. Kudos.
Thank you Kevin!
Ooohhh. Like the dark side.
It does often seem more convincing, right?
I want to read more.
🙂 Thanks so much Christine. 🙂
Yes I’d keep turning pages too!
Thanks Joan! 🙂
I’d keep turning pages too!
The words sit in my mind waiting in anticipation for more
Thank you Sharon!
Nice left turn into a story when you write, “She hid these books, but not carefully, hoping that Lily might find them and stop looking.”
Nicely done!
Thank you Richard!
Beautiful.
Sad.
Elegant.
Engaging.
And honest.
Thank you.
Thank YOU!
Perfect beginning to a longer story. You’ve got me wanting more. ?
Thank you Elvira! 🙂
Lots of comments saying they want more. To me, this is the best place to stop. The beauty of microfiction–you said more with this than you would with a book. Great work.
Thank you Uma. I agree that this is the best place to stop. Thank you for your kind words.
Definitely intriguing! Yes, this is a great beginning to a longer work. A kind of Janus character. Very interesting and well done!
Thanks for your interest and encouragement.
Fabulous! Love how you touched so many senses in so few words. Well done. I’m awe of this talent.
Thank you Donna! High praise coming from such a gifted storyteller!
This is a beautiful, complete micro. Such strong images and great contrast, and I love the human conflict of maybe Lily won’t look further. So nicely done.
Wow! Thanks Susan. ?
Oops. My smiley emoticon was turned into a question mark. Please disregard!!!
And thank you!
“Walls swallowed sound” really got me. Wow. What a piece.
Thank you Susan!!!