With the latest experiment a failure, I walk around the frozen pond to clear my head. Thick snow drifts from gray skies, winter in full swing. I stop, squint through the slow-moving haze, and spot someone waving frantically out on the ice.
“Don’t,” echoes from across the pond, followed by a sharp crack. The person falls beneath the ice and disappears.
I run, skitter across the slippery frozen pond to where they vanished.
The hole is gone.
The experiment worked.
Oh God.
I turn around, notice a silhouette in the distance. I flail my arms. Ice rumbles beneath my feet.
“Don’t!”
Wow invokes lots of thought! Nice
I have so many questions?
Hello Raymond,
Nice! So much packed into so few words and I, as does Charlene, have many questions. Your story has potential of evolving into a top-notch short story.
Excellent story! Really enjoyed it!
holy smokes! That was good
Does the use of first person intimate that this is an endless loop?
Dammit, RJB! You’ve done it again! Nicely done.
Woah! Didn’t see that loop coming, this is awesome!
Raymond J Brash I am very intrigued – also, we share the same surname – could we be related?
I am looking forward to this page turner!
Very significant launch date as well. Success is inevitable.
Apologies – just realized these are the only words – ha – had to read it twice. Well done, well done ?
Good read. I could visualize the scene!
I love a good loop! Well done, Raymond.
Loops and logical puzzles frustrate me in a good way! Really enjoyed this thought-provoking piece.
Love this.
Lovely way to describe the wintery ambience. I felt as I was physically transported to the same frozen pond.
Right from the start it gives the reader the impression that something bad might happen. And then, the suspense of seing the main character entering an infinite loop… Simply delicious.