By Juliana
“911, what’s your emergency?”
“I would like a cheese pizza,” a trembling woman’s voice responded.
“Pizza?” Ted asked in disbelief. “Ma’am, I think you’ve called the wrong number.”
“No, I haven’t.”
“You called 911 to order a pizza?”
“Yes.”
Suddenly, there was a thumping sound and a hoarse male voice came through Ted’s headphones. “Hey, bozo, what’s taking so long? We want a cheese pizza, got it?”
Ted felt an icy wisp of air sting his eyes and freeze him on the spot.
“Hello?” the man growled. “You know what, I’m hanging u—”
“Yes, sir, can I get an address?”
Simple, but very effective and powerful. Maybe a few less clues and a little more terror in her voice.
nice, liked it.
Excellent! The “thumping noise” was the key pivot. I would have liked the dark emergency of that to be more obvious, but it was a lot to tell in few words. Well done.
Conjures up a lot more than the 101 words used. Thought-provoking. Skilful writing.
Thank you everyone!
Excellent.
So much implied in a short space. I liked that.
Dark and sharp.
Very good
Very well done. I didn’t need any more. I liked the way I didn’t get it at first or thought it was going to be funny, and the way it played itself out and became diabolically clear what was really going on.
Concise but powerfully condensed.