By James Rasco
My mother’s charm bracelet is magical. It holds birthstones and lives within its silver clasps. She knows that if she takes it off something bad will happen, though she has never been brave enough to try. Last summer my amethyst fell from its setting; my dormant asthma flared. She found the stone and returned it; I inhaled unobstructed.
Charlie, my younger brother, is sick. The doctors said days. That was months ago. Morphine no longer works; Charlie suffers. My mother kissed her slowly dying son, whispered goodbye, and wept as she pried a green glinting stone from her bracelet. A kindness.
A fine story, with a surprise ending. Complete in itself.
Thank you so much for you kind words, Wayne.
Beautiful story and well-constructed. Think about deleting the last two words: “A kindness.” They seem ambiguous. I like ending it with the powerful sentence before.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Mike, and for the critique. It’s always welcome. I’m so pleased that you enjoyed my story.
I disagree. I think the writer was right.
Hello James,
Well done. Very touching story with clear symbolism, and allowing the reader to discover the” magic” in the charm bracelet subtly( rather than announcing the premise in the opening line) might enhance the ending.
Very interesting critique, Cathryn. I like the thought of discovery. Thank you so much for sharing and for reading my work.
Strong story. For what it’s worth, I disagree with Mike McCarty’s comment about the last sentence. I thought it was perfect.
Thank you so much for the kind words, K F. I can definitely see what Mike is saying. I love seeing how varied people’s thoughts and tastes can be. I’m so happy that you enjoyed the story.
Very moving.
Thank you so much for saying so, Bud.
Wow James, what a powerful and beautiful story. It leaves just enough to the imagination.
Thank you for the kind words, Anna. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Wow. That was powerful.
Thanks for Sharing.
Great story
I enjoyed it.
Awesome job ?
Was supposed to be clapping emoji but came out as a question mark
One of the best 101s that I’ve read.
Painfully beautiful
What a sad but beautiful story. I think, perhaps, some reviewers misunderstood your last line. Given the magic of the bracelet, removing the stone was an act of euthanasia, the hardest thing a mother can do for her child, and the clearest expression of her love.
Beautifully poignant.