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After Grace

October 23, 2019 10 Comments

After Grace
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Grace had stopped eating.

“That poor fish,” she’d say. That poor cow, that poor baby pig, that poor everything.

After Grace’s newfound sympathy, Mom started locking my door at night. I would hear stifled screams and loud thumps. “She’s just hormonal. It’s part of becoming a woman,” Mom would say on the other side of my door.

The night Mom forgot to set the locks I wandered into Grace’s room. A man laid unconscious, covered in blood, his severed hand between Grace’s teeth.

“That poor guy,” I said before quietly returning to my room. Thankfully, I still had three years left.

By ToJo

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Adelaide says

    October 23, 2019 at 10:54 am

    Confusing and too grisly.

    Reply
    • Mary Ellen says

      October 24, 2019 at 9:59 am

      agreed. Don’t get the reason for the man being there.

      Reply
  2. Joni Sensel says

    October 23, 2019 at 1:07 pm

    Three years until being eaten? Or three years until also doing what Grace is doing, and eating others? Since I don’t know the narrator’s gender or age relative to Grace, I don’t know what’s implied. Although I like the voice here and the play on “grace,” and the first lines are really promising, I’m not sure what the ultimate logic of this piece is. Backhanded girl bashing?

    I can tell the editors are having fun with the Halloween timing but the results lately are feeling a bit juvenile, disappointing in terms of satisfying thematic and emotional content. JMO, obviously.

    Reply
  3. A J Nahajski says

    October 23, 2019 at 2:48 pm

    I liked the start, setting up for a bit of vegetarianism. I assumed the narrator was Grace’s sister? Not sure about this one, although disagree with previous comment about girl-bashing. I agree with last part of comment though.
    Perhaps some hints about a ‘coming of age’ or particular birthday near the start would make the last line less confusing, as three years is a specific amount of time.
    What about the mom? She would be a woman right? Has she got the vampire/cannibal thing under control now?

    Reply
    • Meera says

      November 7, 2019 at 8:29 am

      Catching up on all the stories, so here is a late post.

      Does 101 Words check for grammar?

      If so, ‘A man LAY unconscious’ not ‘laid’. Common lie/lay mistake, but the editor should have caught it.

      Reply
  4. John Adams says

    October 23, 2019 at 10:18 pm

    I thought this was great! I took the ending to mean that the narrator was a little sister, three years from becoming what Grace was becoming (or at least that’s what she thought would happen to her). Very clever writing throughout, especially the “That poor [animal]” repetition.

    If I were to offer one suggestion, it might be to try to trim three words so you could rephrase the opening line as “My older sister Grace had stopped eating.” I think that might clear up some of the confusion around the later “three years left” line. (Assuming my interpretation of the ending line is correct.)

    Either way, I enjoyed it!

    Reply
    • Mary Ellen says

      October 24, 2019 at 9:59 am

      agree

      Reply
  5. Eliza Smith says

    October 24, 2019 at 10:17 pm

    Example of tantalizing world building in just over 100 words! I want to know more about what this family is? Is it only a female thing? Is it an age thing?
    Well written so I got what was going on, and original enough that I wish I had more. Basically what a story this short should be.

    Reply
  6. Karisa Moore says

    October 25, 2019 at 7:56 am

    Horror is not my cup of tea … enough in my own life. However, great word play with the “poor ____” throughout. Little sister seemed unfazed by what she saw Grace doing, so what was the point of locking the door?

    Reply
  7. Tara Hayes says

    October 25, 2019 at 11:40 am

    Took me a couple of reads, but really enjoyed the story overall. The repetition of poor _____ was great. The ending makes me want more! Great job!

    Reply

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