Born

By Kevin McEvoy

I didn’t get a wardrobe choice, so I was born naked. I wasn’t embarrassed, but I did feel a little ridiculous. If I could talk, I would have apologized for lacking an outfit suitable for such an auspicious occasion. They did give me a blanket and hat, though. They must have valued confidentiality because they all wore masks, addressing each other only by their titles. I wanted to introduce myself, so I just yelled. I guess they didn’t like it because I got spanked. Except the louder I yelled, the more their eyes crinkled up. It seemed to make them happy!