By Jeffrey A. Paolano
Twnyara slips off the red-soled, high-heeled fashionable nay faddish steppers (the required kit for her executive assistant position in the uptown office).
She puts each shoe in a felt bag that she places in her huge carrying pouch, from whence she removes her cross trainers.
Twnyara dons the comfortable walking apparel, but still…
She catches an uptown bus.
The only vacant seat is next to the window side. A squeeze beside the obese woman on the aisle side, but still…
She transfers.
On the subway a handsome man flashes an inviting smile, and then gallantly allows Twnyara his seat, but still…
Like your writing. Upbeat and leaves you wanting more!
Some very confusing writing, but then I think that’s the point of telling your story in this particular way (vacillating). Anyway, good story.