Age 10. Celebrate healing my broken arm with a jump off the chicken coop roof
Age 25. Celebrate the loss of 10 pounds and eat a giant chocolate sundae
Age 40. Celebrate quitting alcohol by drinking one last margarita with extra lime
Age 55. Celebrate quitting cigarettes by puffing an expensive Cuban cigar
Age 60. Celebrate 30 years of loveless marriage by having an affair with my secretary
Age 85. Celebrate a cancer diagnosis by crying all night
Age 86. Celebrate 50 years of accident-free driving by crashing into a bridge abutment
Finally, I celebrate 86 years of life by dying.