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Cesspool

October 3, 2021 15 Comments

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A cacophony of noise filled the air: shuffling footsteps and voices drowned out by the whirring of factory machines. Ten-year-old Mary’s fourteen-hour shift had ended. Eighteen cents earned.

Mouse droppings crunched underfoot. Coal dust clung to the air. Ravenous cravings scratched the pit of Mary’s stomach. Staggering into the dark corridor, she tripped, her hand pressing against a cool brass handle.

A tin can sat on a worn table. She grasped it with shaking hands—unable to read the green label.

Returning home, she opened her treasure with a hammer and chisel, scanning the front.

“P-p-peas.”

A single tear rolled down.

By Katie Jordan

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. DRJaymz says

    October 3, 2021 at 12:49 pm

    Excellent. The imagery was vivid and created a powerful atmosphere.

    Reply
  2. Sue Cook says

    October 3, 2021 at 5:59 pm

    Powerful story – so evocative.

    Reply
  3. G Dean Manuel says

    October 3, 2021 at 7:11 pm

    Awesome story. You made excellent use of your word count.

    Reply
  4. Paul M Clark says

    October 3, 2021 at 8:43 pm

    I thought this really captured the desolate hopelessness of factory life during this time. Great imagery. Lots of emotion. Loved it.

    Reply
  5. SL Kretschmer says

    October 3, 2021 at 10:27 pm

    It’s amazing how much emotion you evoked in so few words. Brilliant story.

    Reply
  6. Helen Connell says

    October 4, 2021 at 2:52 am

    Tells a sad tale so well in a few words.

    Reply
  7. Colin Palmer says

    October 4, 2021 at 3:52 am

    That was awesome, I could see and feel the entire emotion and surroundings!

    Reply
  8. Katie Delay says

    October 4, 2021 at 5:16 am

    The stuttered “p-p-peas” just got me. The relief she feels at finding food. This tiny story packs a punch!

    Reply
  9. Julie Dykstra says

    October 4, 2021 at 11:31 am

    Thought provoking piece, left me wanting to know more.

    Reply
  10. Debra Devin says

    October 4, 2021 at 1:18 pm

    Wow what a picture! I instantly felt sadness for Mary’s situation.

    Reply
  11. Janna Miller says

    October 5, 2021 at 12:18 pm

    Beautifully sad and descriptive story!

    Reply
  12. Reaghan Reilly says

    October 5, 2021 at 2:55 pm

    Ah, the pain. You touched my heart.

    Reply
  13. Lauren Ashley says

    October 5, 2021 at 10:04 pm

    Fantastic! This is so emotive and sad. Beautiful micro piece!

    Reply
  14. Veronique Aglat says

    October 6, 2021 at 7:15 am

    I just thought the can would be full of beans, not peas. Don’t know why. Maybe nutrition. Thanks.

    Reply
  15. Valli Henry-Boldini says

    November 2, 2021 at 6:55 pm

    Vivid imagery in a well crafted tale… kudos…

    Reply

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