By Charlie Swailes
“It’s your decision,” she says, scratchy pen hovering over photocopied paper. A narrow stare of pity and judgement.
I look at my fingers, scratched and bloodied. My lip feels fat against my teeth. My ribs protest as I shakily inhale.
I think of the apologies coming my way; the love, dropping like a nuclear bomb, saturating me in radiation. Will never happen again. Never. Just love you too much. Please.
My breath settles.
I made my choice before she walked in. She knew my choice before she sat down.
“Your decision,” she says, again.
“I fell down the stairs,” I say.
WOW!
Excellent
This is a textbook example of how the physical, psychological and emotional states come together to tell a complete story. In this case, a battered relationship.
. The emotional turmoil creates a mindset that battered women accept as inevitable. They close their will to fight back. Although the ending was expected, the story is well told with good inner thoughts of the woman and her acceptance of her life.
You pack a lot of power in the punch! Bravo.
Powerful, and I love the writing.
I had to read it twice to understand it – the trouble with establishing context at the outset of such a short story. I liked the story even better the third time I read it, and even more on the fourth reading.
Thank you! I’m glad you liked it.
Good one! You pack so much into the space.
Great story. Is it the woman who has been violent? Just need to clarify it on my mind. Emotions well conveyed.
I hadn’t thought the woman was violent, rather that she was anticipating the apologies from her partner who had been violent towards her. But that’s an interesting interpretation!
that says so much… well done
I also understood that it was the woman who was violent, more common than one thinks. I thought that was the twist.
That’s really interesting. I hadn’t considered that ambiguity- would you mind telling me what made you think that in the story? It would help me with future writing!
The writing was clear and concise. If anything could have caused misinterpretation it could perhaps have been the title, but don’t worry yourself about it. Good, punchy images. Great stuff