By Jim Pownall
Rain specks the window of my Ford, and it’s through the mist that I notice Ben, waiting to cross the road.
I can:
• Drive slowly, delaying his chance to cross and escape this weather. Hopefully, he’ll later get hypothermia.
• Speed past, window down, yell, “Cheating bastard!” He’ll maybe question his life, his actions.
• Mount the curb, flatten him, flee.
But as I near, Ben squints in the rain and raises his hand. I slow to a stop, succumbing to his orders, and off he goes.
Driving away, I watch Ben turn into a blip, continuing his journey without me.
I drive.
Hmmm. How many of us have faced these same choices? I guess we all chose the same…
Hi Charlotte,
True! I based this on a small encounter I had a year or so ago. While I didn’t consider running the person over, I do remember being overwhelmed with so many emotions for such a small and quick moment.
Take care,
Jim
Excellent 101 words. Choices choices.
Thanks so much, Stella.
It was hard whittling it down to just three choices! Could’ve easily gone on for another page.
Take care,
Jim
Great use of flash. Just the information we need for the story.
Thanks so much, Ed — I really appreciate it. I love writing and reading flash fiction. It always feels impossible at the start, but once you’ve stripped everything back and returned to the story after time away, it’s incredible how it can still hold together, even when reduced to its bare bones!
Take care, Jim
Great piece. I like the way the story of their relationship, past and future, is buried in the last three paragraphs: “succumbing to his orders”; “continuing his journey without me”; “I drive”.
Thanks David. I really appreciate you taking the time to comment too!
Jim
Great little story. Nice use of the internal dialogue too to show conflict.
Thanks, Sam! It’s quite an ‘internal-dialogue-heavy’ story, I suppose. I’m glad you liked it and commented.
Take care,
Jim
Even the brief description of the weather paints a vivid image and great choice of words showing the narrator is still hung up on Ben (the cheating bastard). Another great story.
Hi Ian,
Thanks so much! I’d love to collect all of these one day… but I’m very lazy.
Thank you for reading and for your kind words.
Jim
Good work. Effective small moment post break up!
Thanks man
Jim
Very relatable.
Thanks Michael!
Jim
What a visual piece this is. I can relate to this on so many levels. At first I thought she had actually gotten out and given the bastard the car until she said, I drive. A few years ago, I would have gotten out and given the bastard the car, allowed him to leave me standing in the rain, but these days, he wouldn’t even be on my radar. Not even worth running over him and dirtying my tires. Hmmm. Obviously you see this was an emotion-evoking piece! Great work. I feel like I need a cigarette or a shot of tequilla now. Not sure which… lol
…or he/him, I didn’t nean to assume!
Hi Lisa,
Thanks for your comment! And thank you for taking such an interest. It was a lot of fun to write and it’s an experience I’ve lived through many times (well… I didn’t want to run anyone over, but I have bumped into people from the past and had a lot of mixed and confused feelings.
Have a shot of tequila, chase it with a cigarette.
Jim