“Keep the noise down, I’m writing,” John declared imperiously positioning his gold-tipped Parker.
‘Va Pensiero’ was playing on Classic FM. ‘Hebrew Slaves.’ How appropriate, Cheryl thought, hanging the washing on the line.
She breathed in the outdoors. Citrus fragrance from mock orange mixed with the heady smell of honeysuckle. The sound of sparrows squabbling, inharmonious with the soft tinkling of wind chimes.
Perhaps ‘Surviving His Retirement’ for my own competition entry? Cheryl mused, plugging the hoover in.
“Can’t you do that later?” came a querulous voice. “A cup of tea wouldn’t go amiss.”
Cheryl scribbled furiously: ‘How to murder your husband.’
I like it Melanie the last bit of dialogue making me smile. I can envisage faces and share thoughts. Sympathise. If I could suggest anything, be careful with adjectives and adverbs. They drive me bananas in my own writing but once removed it flows much easier.
Congrats! I love the end. You may have overdone the adjectives and adverbs in my opinion.
I enjoyed reading this. And I’m a husband!
A good read.
Beautiful imagery and great ending!!
‘How to murder your husband’ is a favourite theme of certain members of our writing group.
I love it, Melanie. I think it is a great, well written, piece. I know many writers and editors frown upon the use of adverbs and adjectives. It could be described as literary apartheid.
My attitude – adjectives and advebs they are part of the English language and if not overused are valuable elements of writing. I think your use of them here has cleverly kept the piece short and punchy.
Totally agree! I love adverbs and adjectives. they bring a story alive.
haha, love it! (And can relate as a home-based freelancer since before the pandemic and furlough etc!)
Great story. Can relate to this.
I felt like a fly on the wall. Well done for drawing the reader in.
Great writing and wry humour. And totally ignore the adverb/adjective mafioso. They are trying to kill literature one rule at a time.