By Tess Devine
“Put it back on,” Leslie, my middle-aged neighbor, demanded while straddling me.
“You sure?”
I was still trying to catch my breath. “Are you into this kind of thing?”
She rolled her eyes. “Just put it back on.”
God, she was bossy. I liked it. I slipped the red ball of sponge back into place. It plugged my nose forcing me to breathe through my mouth, with each inhale I could taste the pungent, floral scent of her fake perfume.
She leaned forward and kissed me.
Her face was smudged with makeup; I wasn’t sure if it was hers or mine.
Rather silly, I thought……
That’s rather harsh – the brief is to give ‘kind and constructive’ criticism. Perhaps, as Thumper’s mother said, if you have nothing nice to say, best to say nothing? Keep on writing, Tess.
And to that I say – if you can’t stand criticism stay out of the writing game……..
Ahem. Calling something “silly” does not count as actual, thoughtful criticism. Just thought you should know.
And yet, Carrick, this ‘silly’ story captured the judge’s hearts and is shortlisted for this month’s writing contest. Now who looks silly?
Different, unexpected, vivid, and kooky. Great story. I read it a few times in a row, and it will definitely stick with me for long after I’ve read it. Keep writing!
Perfect.
Well done Tess, fab going!
engaging idea with coulrophilia =) nicely done