By Andre Bergeron
The boat’s sudden heel puts a rise in my stomach. That wind—out of the east—is an omen. It snaps at the mainsail, ushering a deep sough in the rigging.
Night is coming, yes, but the storm will arrive sooner. And it holds a different darkness. The Pelican, twenty-four feet in length and twelve at the beam, is a sturdy craft, but she’ll be tested.
Running cocaine, despite its evils, has been good to me. Paid the mortgage. Fed the kids. No matter what, I’ll get that rock in the hold past the looming breakers and authorities who’d destroy everything.
Very good. I enjoyed reading this.
Good stuff!
Well-written and thought-provoking.
Thank you very much for the kind comments.
Enjoyed every paragraph.
Thanks, Karen. Appreciate your taking the time to read it.
This is like reading an extended haiku where every word is an illumination upon a path that much like the story itself, grows darker the further one wanders. I loved it!
Thank you.
A great read!
Reminds me of a Gordon Lightfoot song. He would have been very proud!
Feed the kids. Wow! Great twist.
I had to look up “sough”. A good word! I love the feeling behind storms and clouds – the ominousness. And I love how your micro fiction seems to have a huge story behind it; additional stories could be written from it.
I just don’t like the “running cocaine” part. Only because of the spread of who it destroys; the “despite its evils” part. Seems very selfish, but I get it.
Beautiful work.
Thank you, Marla. In my writing, I try to explore steep contrasts that exist deep inside people. My experience is that each of us is more conflicted than we may know. Oftentimes, we try to “make right” because of perceived misdeeds we feel we’ve done–or, we justify something terrible with an outlandish moralization. I can appreciate that there is an ethical conflict in this story, and I’m glad you called it out. It was meant to be thought-provoking. I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment. Very thoughtful of you.
So true that we can make outlandish moralizations. I’ve done it myself, of course. All of your writing is thought-provoking, especially this one! Thanks for responding.
Really great work. Pulls you in nicely and leaves you wanting more. Cheers!
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment, Joe. Glad you enjoyed it. Appreciate it.
Love that word “sough”. It evokes the wind and the sea. The only other place I have seen it is in John Masefield’s poem, Trade Winds. Thank you for bringing the word back to life.
“There is the red wine, the nutty Spanish ale,
The shuffle of the dancers, the old salt’s tale,
The squeaking fiddle, and the soughing in the sail
Of the steady Trade Winds blowing.”
David – Thanks for your nice comments. I was unfamiliar with the Trade Winds poem, but it’s a pleasure to be introduced to it–It’s quite beautiful. I, too, like the word, sough, as I think it is highly evocative of the aural experience of being on a sailboat under a stiff breeze.
Love thinking about the pluses, and the danger. Thank you!
I enjoyed this story very much, Andre. Well done!