By Maxwell Ondik
He ventured into the silent world: his footsteps over the torn pavement did not make a sound.
People lined the streets, praying.
Smoke billowed from grimy stacks atop brick buildings. Collecting in the sky, the atmosphere was choked with the odor of gas.
A rough hand shoved him. He hit the gravel, scraping his knee. Looking up, he saw the soldier who had pushed him. He tried to imagine this cruel man coming home, opening the door and hugging his children.
Without provocation, the soldier struck him again.
Limping, he fell in line with the mourners and prayed, just another slave.
I know it’s said so often on here, but I could definitely see this as a much larger story. Great imagery!
Thank you!
Very beautiful imagery – a snap shot into another world that makes me appreciate my own.
Dark an gloomy atmosphere in this brief, gritty showing. Liked it.
Thanks! When I wrote it I intended it to be just that.
Imagery is your forte for sure! Felt like I was there in the story….great job!
Very dark. I want to know more!
Wow Max – very powerful story. It is very evocative – and it’s 101 words can be the starting point for each imagination. Great Job!
Ooh, my skin is in goosebumps! I want to know where this story is going….