By Matt Weatherbee
The light was a cross between fire and lightbulb, and the insects, you figured, a cross between wasp and firefly. They glowed, buzzed, made nests in the dunes that shone like Chinese lanterns.
The insects poured out of the nest and swarmed around you. Christmas lights mounting the attack. You raised your hands slowly, worried about being stung. Would their venom glow? Would it glow under your skin and road-map your veins?
But you didn’t get stung. The swarm died down. The insects filed home. Only a streak of them lingered like stardust, pulling you, inviting you forward, saying, “Discover us.”
I found this exciting and vibrant and some of the phrases, such as road-map your veins, were perfect. It led me to consider who ‘You’ was and the effect it had on them. I wonder did you consider present tense for this?
Is this story about the narrator being recruited by Christians during an encounter he expects to be very negative but ends in a positive way.
On the meaphorical level, that’s what it looks like to me.
Early hint of this are the uses of the words, “light” and “cross.” Then, the introduction to what it’s about:”Christmas lights mounting the attack,” followed by the narrator’s fear they would hurt him “stung”. The narrator considers their message as something poisonous, “venom” that will go through his system” and be visible to others with the use of “glow under your skin,” and tell you what to do, illustrated by the phrase,”road-map your veins.” Then, events change, as does the narrator’s perspective as shown in the sentence, “…lingering like stardust, pulling you in…”
You did an excellent job of making me think. I’m sure someone can interpret this another way. Keep up the great work. This stuff isn’t easy to write!
Reading 101 words, these last few days, has made me feel like I’m back in literature classes.
Wow. Excellent.