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Driftwood

October 24, 2017 2 Comments

Driftwood
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I watch him from my annex. He scoots over white speed humps and the painted number eight.

Red Spiderman boardshorts, twisted to the side, caught up in his bottom. Red surfing top. Cute little face, wide eyes, pale gangly legs.

Scooter’s probably a Christmas present. Must be around six or seven. It’s hard to tell with some of these kids.

He can’t see me, and scrapes past the front of my caravan.

He has an intellectual delay; when he builds up speed to get over a hump he can’t choose which leg to use.

I loosen my belt.

And I wait.

By Sharon Willdin

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Comments

  1. b. says

    October 24, 2017 at 10:12 am

    Good story, you built the anticipation very well. I must say that you have me confused by the line “I loosen my belt” because at this point I thought that the narrator was in a building. The opening line implies that the narrator is in a building. My advice, modify the first line or the “loosen … ” to improve your delivery.

    Reply
  2. Sharon Willdin says

    November 5, 2017 at 7:21 am

    An annex is a tent attachment to a caravan. He was watching from that. He can see out but not be seen.

    Reply

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