By Chirayu
Jack left his friend’s party and returned to an apartment near the cemetery. He stumbled into the house and heard the sound of a door closing.
He tried to switch on the lights. Sounds came from everywhere, shouting at Jack to leave.
Jack didn’t believe it. Then he got angry. “Do whatever you want. I’m staying!”
A dark shadow appeared. It was a girl. Three days before she was badly hurt in an accident. She died. Jack didn’t help. As she looked at him sadly, Jack knew he had to make amends. He registered to become a paramedic the next day.
I like the ending–it works without feeling contrived, sappy or horrific. I would have preferred you cut words near the beginning and used them to tell us a bit more about how “Jack didn’t help.” It’s implied he was at the scene of the “accident”, but …. ? Good job.
Thank-you & ya sure I will take this advice to use on the next upcoming stories thank-you !!..:-) ..
It is lovely to see you on 101 Words, Chirayu. I enjoyed your story, and it has a great ending. I look forward to reading more of your stories ?, Helenx
Thank-you very much Helen !!…Great to see yours comment I m pleased…
That was meant to be a smiley face at the end ‘stories’, not a question mark. Helen x
Original. Fast paced, but told with precision and vision. High five!!
Thank-you very much!!. 🙂 it is my appreciating from a great knowledgeable writers.thanks