By Lisa M. Scuderi-Burkimsher
Bella Mae pulled Tony toward the large maple tree in Colonial Park. She plopped down on all fours with that cuteness only a Shih-Tzu could reveal. He sat, leaning against the tree with her, and took in the view of a couple walking their baby in the stroller. They smiled and laughed, making funny sounds at the wee one. From their appearance they couldn’t have been more than twenty-something and acted like they didn’t have a care in the world.
“Come on Bella, let’s get going.” Tony tugged the leash.
Tony was old and gray. It was too late for him.
I like this. It has a subliminal story. However care must be taken while choosing synonyms: cuteness being revealed rather than executed or displayed suggests it is hidden until flashed. It could reveal teeth or a smile, as does our Shitzon. Nor do you take in the view of a specific focus: you observe. The choice of “making funny sounds” struck me as open to dubious interpretation as well.
This is a great story. I think you hit on the emotional points just right to make it really resonate. Nicely done.