By Barry O'Farrell
In four feet of water the instructor holds the nose of the surfboard. My task, to move from flat, to a crouch, to a standing position with my feet evenly placed on each side of the board.
As I stand, one foot slips off. The surfboard turns on its edge, gravity drawing me straight down, one foot each side of the board. Inevitably there is a meeting between surfboard edge and my crotch. I see stars.
As they carry me up the beach, curled up in a foetal position, I experience an epiphany; there will never be any surfing for me.
I laughed. That means this story worked.
Ouch!!!