By June Rogers
He wanted to touch the woman in the white flowing dress standing by the saloon. Her ruby lips and kohl eyes beckoned.
With lust in his groin, he strutted toward her, spooking the stallion at the hitching post. The rein snapped and it galloped off in a cloud of dust.
The agitated men pointed at him and said “este hombre.” Cicadas rattled their warning as the men corralled the horse thief.
Hanging from a live oak, he grabbed at the rope around his neck. The men turned away, but the woman stared into his strangled eyes and prayed, “Vaya con Dios.”
Those few words (101) piqued my interest. I want to find out more.
Vivid description.
Good job, June.
Lynda
June how vivid a reflection in so few words. Well done. Wayne
Beautiful imagery, excited to read more!
Qué pena por ambos!
Si, que lastima!
One can feel the heat emanating from the ground, smell equine drop-offs, hear music and laughter coming out from the saloon, blink under the ferocious sun—and taste the blood on one s tongue. Bravo!
Oops, « droppings », not « drop-offs »…?
Beautiful, profound, description of an intense moment of life. Good job, June!
Reaching past lust with an equestrian symbol to evoke the limitations of man, hope, and diverging paths renders a challenging 101 words superfluous. Well done!
What a tribute to minimalism. Less is definitely more when it comes to this evocative story of man, lust, retribution and fate. So well-written and so potent. Big congrats!
Requires me to use my mind to fill in the blank. Love that!
Very powerful.
Your dipiction of the momentis quite sexual. Granted it is fiction, but one fact about the old west, Women were not allowed in saloons or on the main street, only in the brothel if there was one. No buxom blonds draped across the piano players bench with her leg hiked up for added effect. The reason there were Saloons was a way to get away from work, the wife and kids. If I lived in your story line, I would be the first one crouched in the corner trying not to get shot from the husband coming to get his wife from a “house of ill repute” and women had no rights. Don’t get me wrong I do like your story, just wanted to add old west story facts.
You’ve evoked an entire world in 101 words, June. Congratulations! (Any thoughts about writing a back story?)
Bravo June- this piece is evocative, with enough visceral emotion stirred to want more. Well done!
What a beautiful minimalist style…like a scene from a Sergio Leone movie.