Bion Abbott hired extras from the Planned Friends Acting Agency to hold an outdoor memorial service in his honor, since he had no real friends himself. With the extras seated in white folding chairs, Bion silently wept from the back row as two violinists and a cellist performed Canon in D Major by Pachelbel, a melody usually performed at weddings; but since Bion never got married, he was killing two birds with one stone. The ‘minister’ eulogized Bion as a pillar of the community, a friend to the downtrodden. After the service, everyone acted shocked when Bion blew his brains out.
— Fred Vogel