By David Daniel
It was one of those 24-hour suburban gyms, a passcard got members in, day or night. People liked the day and early evening hours, sweating and whirling away on stationary bicycles. I preferred the slack span after midnight, when it was rare to see exercisers there. I liked having the place to myself—the racks of gleaming dumbbells, floor-to-ceiling mirrors. There was food around and I’d munch on protein bars. I was getting jacked. I’d admire myself in the mirrors. You should’ve seen my legs.
It was sweet for a while. My world.
And then they brought in the damn cat!
I like the atmosphere of this piece and the sense of place to himself. I’m not sure I believe a cat could have been quite so interuptive. Maybe if there was some foreshadowing.
Thanks for the note, Lisa. Yeah, therein the challenges of the form. What to put in what to leave out. I’m not even sure how much a cat would menace a rat.
Very clever. An unexpected ending.
Thanks, Ed.
I enjoyed this one. For me, at the university, it might end something like: ‘spring break ended and then they brought back the damn students.’ Well done Dave!
I thought you liked school, Don. 🙂
Loved the story! I don’t think that it is important about whether a cat can or will challenge a rat, rather it’s about how you exercised your mind to come up with such a clever and well disguised tale. Imagination and the possibilities created by thinking outside the box is my opinion of a great writer.
I appreciate the insight, b. Thank you.
Good twist at the end..I love such twists..
Thank you, Archie!
Nice and smooth twist with the play on words in the title.
Thank you, Eric. I appreciate the comments.