Mortuary work doesn’t exactly pay well, but it has its compensations. It teaches you useful life skills: sewing, stitching, hair and makeup, among others.
You learn to disguise bruises, burns, bullet holes, and a hundred other indignities. You figure out how to extract gold teeth without damaging the bridge, and how to remove titanium implants while leaving the client intact beneath their funerary garb.
Navigating a wedding ring over swollen knuckles can be a nightmare, but it’s worth it. A snip here, a stitch there, and you’ve got another gleaming addition to your retirement fund.
The best part? Nobody ever checks.
Sorry, but the God you believe in is looking over your shoulder while you steal. Weave the idea of redemption into 101 words and you’ll have a better tale. Just my two cents.
Great last line.
What a clever way to supplement one’s 401(k) account. One quibble: The absence of a wedding ring on the lately departed loved one would, at the viewing, almost certainly be noticed by the grieving spouse or children. Jerry
The story is great! I thought the first paragraph was comical; may just be my sense of humor. I saw an ex- homicide cop steal something from a bar. After that, I thought he probably stole gold teeth out of homicide victim’s mouths.
I love everything about this story. EVERYTHING. It’s descriptive, shocking, and entertaining.