By Bobby Warner
Trevor watched the mist swirl across the field like ghostly figures rising from unmarked graves. Somewhere out there was the bear that had killed his granddad and mauled his right leg.
He limped across the field towards the far line of trees. He suspected this was where the bear was hiding. He held the gun in both hands with the safety off and a round in the chamber.
The bear was there all right. But not in the trees. Trevor heard a sudden growl and whirled around as the bear took away half his face with one swipe of its paw.
good one!
A good story on how revenge can backfire, humans or animals. Thank you.
Yes, a good effort to remind us revenge is sometimes deadly, not sweet. Mother Nature & her animals often have the upper hand.
The moral of the story? Bears are sneaky.
Moral #2? We humans are not as smart as we think we are.
Nice little tale of revenge gone wrong. Great storytelling!
Gripping imagery
Many, many thanks, Lee, Jo, Neil, Scott, and Gloria for all the comments. It’s encouragement such as this that keeps this writer writing. I suppose it’s much the same with just about all writers, eh? All your words are much appreciated.
Lol, Bobby Warner, I agree and I couldn’t agree with you more. Encouragement is like another sword being handed to you to cut off the next negative demons head that tries to get in your way when it’s time to write. But as for this story Hunter I like it. The detail is superb. Like when he looked at the mist. But this only makes me think that there could alot more to this. Like a journey afterwards that will lead him into something he had no idea his father was a part of. Let’s say he wakes up with the bear shot on his side and now he has something wrapped around his face. Then a man from behind him speaks to him asking him, “do you want to know what really happened? Or do you want to live the rest of your life feeling that this bear is what really killed your father out here in the forest?” I see ALOT more behind it. And what he sees in those mist could be his father awaking in them to try to get him to run. To message him from the dead. Because obviously he was right, the bear was just his father’s way of committing suicide, going out the easy way. BUT the father could see what’s going on from the dead. He never knew that they had a profile of his son. And now his son is talking to the very man that his father roared from out the grave because of. The messenger the father tries to warn him to not follow. The messenger that didn’t allow him to slip out of his hands the way his father did. Now he follows him on this journey where only his father can help him. Or maybe it’s just an suggestive idea of mines. But nevertheless, I liked it. When stories encourages me and makes me have suggestions of my own, for me that means what i was reading made me feel like I was just in a place that felt real to me. Like home.
Selma Lagerlöv is a Swedish national treasure who wrote an amazing story about a wealthy guy who gets lost in a blizzard Christmas Eve after his sauna and stumbles across a bear who’s hibernating under a thicket of branches and boughs, stays warm against the peaceful, dozing animal all night. He returns the next day with friends and rifles, the bear makes a bee-line right for him with pretty much the same results as your protagonist. Can’t remember the title, but you can probably find a translated version by typing the author’s name and a the word bear and Christmas. Check it out. I think you’d dig it.
Love it! Great ending.