By Emily Lee
Muriel drew her breath hoping for air, only to fill her lungs with murky seawater.
Something caught her foot, held her back from reaching the surface. She fought against the debris and strained to see what gripped her ankle so tightly. A sudden jerk pulled her even deeper. She released her breath in a final inaudible scream and surrendered to the darkness.
She came to, encircled by fish. A bespectacled hammerhead shark checked her heart rate with his stethoscope.
A bright orange swordbill with golden fins swam toward her, holding a clipboard. “Mermaid recruitment services, ma’am. How may I help you?”
Very cute. We can all use a chuckle these days. There seems to be thread of not seeing well — from the mermaid straining to see in the murky water and the bespectacled hammer shark. I assume that was intentional — nicely done! I looked up “swordbill” and learned it is a hummingbird. Maybe just a quick change to a swordfish or carp (they are often gold) would work. But overall, the writing and the surprises were great.
I love the unmitigated darkness of the first two paragraphs. That sets up for a great contrast with the end, and a sudden shift from grim realism to cartoon fantasy. Well done.
Wonderful! Great to read a comic story amongst all this gloom!
I enjoyed this story and the twist in the tale
A drowning story that doesn’t end with the drowning! Delightful ending.
The story is visually strong and I enjoyed the ending.