By Brian Taylor
I was pleaded with until I promised to try and be civil with the man I detest. Not for his sake, but for my daughter’s, the children’s, and the holiday.
I start off well, offering a handshake and small talk about football and cars. Still, I listen and watch everything.
His stupid motorcycle t-shirt (his idea of dressing nice?). His piggish eating. His loud voice and his annoying stories. His ignoring my wife. His rough tone and unfair treatment of my grandchildren. His hateful attitude towards my daughter. My clenched fist raising…
I tried, he didn’t. A good day for me.
Brian, your writing show some rough edges much like the antagonist in your story. But, I do give you credit for trying to use a story to make a point. You are more brave than I am.
Congratulations for publishing your work. That’s a great accomplishment.
I offer my reactions to this piece for you to consider, if you wish to submit it elsewhere:
Three times reading the first sentence and I was still confused by it. The different verb tenses didn’t help clarify the sentence’s meaning.
Also, I was confused as to how the hero of this story tried to be civil when he raised a fist at the man he detests. A raised fist to me is not a sign of restraint.
Finally, I was confused as to who the hero promised to “try and be civil”.
Thank you for sharing your work with us. Keep writing!
Cassandra, I think it was the main character’s wife or daughter that made him promise to try to get along with his son-in-law for the holiday dinner. He attempts to do just that, with the handshake and small talk. But the son-in-law’s rude actions through the evening are just too much for the main character to tolorate, so that is why he hits him.
At least, that’s what I was trying to convey with this story. Apparently, I didn’t do it very well, haha.
I liked the sense of male competition. I recognize both of these men.
Thank you, Paula.
I understood as well, and thought the whole story was portrayed nicely. Succinct without lacking anything.
Thank you, Emma. I appreciate it.
I got it.
Families can be a minefield!
Thank you, Cathy.
I thought it was succinct. You are awesome!
Thank you so much Deanna. I appreciate that.
Brian. I have enjoyed reading all your excellent stories published on this site, especially this one. Looking forward to the next.
Thank you so much, Marjan. I really appreciate that.
Good p.o.v.
keep writing, man
Thank you, David.