By Jake T.S. Wryte
The picture, like her hair, had lost its luster. She could smell the ocean, hear the waves crashing. His thundering voice, his hurtful words. The taste of her own blood.
A train rumbled past, her apartment trembling in its wake. There was no going back. No strolls along the beach, curling her toes in the damp sand, listening to the ebb and flow of the ocean.
She had to be here, drowning in large crowds, no more distinct than one grain of sand from the next. Had to run, hide.
She struck a match, lit the picture, watched the ocean burn.
Beautiful ….Very Well Written …
Artistry by a emerging storyteller. I’m reminded of a song and a music video about Brooklyn girls by another great storyteller, Tom Waits. The first character you see in his music video, ironically is a character named Jake. The song: Downtown Train. The youtube video: The 5:08 Tom Waits version. Well done Mr. Waits, and equally well done Mr. Jake T.S. Wyrte.
Thanks Don! I appreciate that!
Excellent story. Full of concrete details and real emotion.
Well done.
The last sentence is hauntingly beautiful. The story has a dark and mysterious quality to it. Absolutely wonderful!
Agreed! Very well written! My kind of story!
Captivatingly good.
Each sentence builds the picture. wonderful writing. Thank you.
Wonderful little piece, Jake! A lot of emotion. Well done!
So much said in so few well-chosen, impactful and beautiful words. This piece calls to mind scents, sounds, memories…and even the future. Fabulous!
Beautiful!
Well done! I like that this mysterious protagonist isn’t just a passive victim–she’s ready to take action and do what needs to be done!
An extraordinarily good story.
Excellent.
I have loved that opening sentence since I first saw it. Powerful writing, Jake.
Majestic piece that covers a life time in so few words. Very well done!
So much said in this short little piece, and a fantastic title! Great writing, so much potential for the future generation of writers