By Michael D. Brooks
The darkness hid what was once a child’s room. Tenaya sat on the floor in the dark, waiting, surrounded by dolls and stuffed animals. They were more than fabric, cotton, and plastic. They were her advisers, confidants, and closest friends. They told her what she needed to do and exactly how to do it. She heard his footsteps slowly tipping toward her room. Daddy was coming to play their secret game. Her small hands squeezed the hilt as she sat waiting for the door to open. This time, he would play her game. Her friends had told her what to do.
Oh, a dark tale for sure.
Thank you.
Daddy’s in for a surprise, isn’t he? Rather like Aerosmith’s “Janie Got a Gun.” Yes, it’s dark, but your story is done well.
Much appreciated.
Good sense of pace and tension, leaving the reader to imagine how Daddy gets his just desserts.
Julie, I’m glad the pace and tension worked for you. I wanted to create the mood so the reader can get a sense of why Daddy is going to get his.
Excellent. Loved its conciseness, every word doing its job, none superfluous.
Excellent. Loved its conciseness, every word doing its job, none superfluous. The perfect tale.