By James B. Revell
Waking up, I don’t recognise the room or its contents. The only sound is the mains hum from various electrical appliances. The clock on the wall shows 3:23 and nothing more.
I quietly open the door and glance into an unfamiliar hall; all other doors are closed. There are no windows to check if it’s day or night.
Which door leads to the toilet? I’m going to need it soon, but I’m reluctant to break the near-silence of the house by flushing the cistern, even if I find it.
I notice my coat, but nothing triggers my memory. I’m lost…again.
This story is quiet with high impact. In 101 words, you packed a clear beginning, middle, and end with great imagery. The last line is absolutely gripping,
Hi Nicki,
Thank you for your critique. I’m pleased that such a short piece made an impact.
Best wishes,
Jim Revell.
Brilliantly unnerving .
Hi David,
Thank you for your kind words.
Best wishes,
Jim Revell.
Chapeau… you kept my attention all the way through … I was there with your character…
My nightmare is getting lost. And sometimes it happens when I am awake!
Hi Valli,
Thank you for your comment.
Best wishes,
Jim Revell.
Hi Derek,
Thanks for your comment.
Sleep soundly,
Jim Revell.
You packed a lot of tension into such few words. Truly less is more.
Thank you for your comment Jennifer.
Best wishes,
Jim R.