“Hi, Mom.”
Face averted, she flicked her fingers at me. “Zzzzzz! I’m waiting for Sheila!”
I sat down beside her bed and sighed. I missed her so much! I had everything to tell her.
“I am Sheila,” I informed her. Again.
She frowned and squinted out the window, my red Beetle a splash of color amid the green. She turned back, frown lines creasing.
“Sheila?” Her voice doubting and hesitant.
“I’m here.” Mine whispered inside my heart.
“Hey, Sugar Pie.” She held her arms out for a hug.
After she released me, I looked in her eyes.
But she was gone.
That was so incredibly sad. Good job on putting so much emotion into such a short piece.
Thank you so much!
I totally get this. My mom . . .
Nicely done.
I’m so sorry about your mom. But thank you!
The ravages of time. We’ll done, Deanna.
Thanks, Jeff! I appreciate your feedback.
I related to this because my mother and mother-in-law were like this before they died.
Thank you. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Perfect
Wow, the ultimate in compliments, thank you!
very sensitive writing!
Thank you so much, dear, I’m kind of a melancholy girl.
Moving. I like the title too.
Thank you, Christine! The editor, Shoshauna was excellent.
Heart rending in it’s sad finality…Outstanding. If you want to adjust, I suggest you consider one change: In your last line think about changing the first word from But to And. Perhaps it might bring-out some contrasting pathos.
I read it both ways and you’re right, it changes the tone of the end a bit. Thank you for your suggestions and your feedback.
Excellent and emotional read… and described my mother-in-law perfectly – Chapeau …
Oh, so sorry for your experience. Thank you for your comment.
Well described rendition of what is becoming an increasingly common condition in older people and one that many writers sites and publishers don’t want to hear about. Well done.
Thank you. I’ve discovered there are editors who are also people. 🙂 Many of them have had the same experiences we writers have had.