By Shannon Hare
Mammy could smell condoms. Even if I hid one in my wallet, she’d burst into song.
“Let’s talk about sex, buddy…” She sprang from our saggy couch to do a bouncy dance from the 1980s. If I actually had sex, she smelled that too. On my nights out, she moved the hard-backed kitchen chair into the tv room so she wouldn’t fall asleep. She watched infomercials until I stumbled in, smelling of bargain-bin cologne with a hint of weed.
“Who’s the lucky girl?”
Years later, when the funeral director asked us about music, I bit my tongue to keep from laughing.
So this is a story about being harassed by sb’s own mom…hm…. She can be funny, but at the same time quite obnoxious, I suppose…
The laughing means he doesn’t love his mom? Or his mom made her own funeral quite funny…? These are the two possibilities coming to my mind.
Thanks, Chieh for the comment! Yes, I guess mothers can be obnoxious and funny at the same time. For me, this story is about grief and how it can present in strange ways, like laughing and remembering the silly memories and awkward moments with someone you love. But that’s just my take on it 😉
Very much so and comes across so well. Deaths can bring out humour in memories and it helps the grieving process. Great writing.
Haha, lovely 🙂
Thanks Liz! Glad you enjoyed it.
Great story. However I feel it lacking a scientific base.
Is mom an alien or has supernatural power to smell few things? And why would when funeral director asks about music, the narrator laughs ?
Few things are bit unclear.
Thanks for your comment, Akash,
Your questions got me thinking. The mother doesn’t have supernatural powers, although some parents do seem to have a way to magically know what is happening even when their child is trying to be sneaky 😉
This is a fun story involving a memory of a loved one, the speaker’s mother. Often, the music chosen for a funeral service is based on a loved one’s favorite song or a memory of a song that comes to mind when those living think about those they have lost. The humor is in the inappropriately of the song that enters the mind of the speaker when he thinks about his mother. That is between him and his mother. He cannot play it at the funeral. The idea is incongruently humorous. The speaker and his mother shared a special bond. She knew him well and he didn’t get much, if anything, past her.
Hi Rose,
Thanks for explaining the story so perfectly! I really appreciate it.
Sometimes other peoples comments puzzle me. We don’t have to explain anything. I’m not in America and some stories have references that I don’t get. And that’s ok. So I loved this story and the mother and the connection that she would have enjoyed. Thanks
Hi Helen, Thanks for commenting on the story. I am pleased that you enjoyed it! Best wishes, Shannon
She didn’t know. It was your guilt that gave you away. When you grow older, the magical abilities of parents start to make sense.
My Dad always timed the moment a sex scene played to enter a room.
So true that it is guilt that can give off a secret “smell” to parents! Your dad anecdote made me laugh. Enjoy your day!
Very good story.
How could he sing such a song in the funeral?
That was the only song he remembers
Thanks for your comment, Chetana! I’m glad you enjoyed the story.
Shannon H, I enjoyed your story, which reminded me of my late mother-in-law’s sense of humor and perception. And Rose, you did a wonderful job of explaining it.
Thanks Dee Lorraine! I’m glad you connected with this story 🙂
I found your story made perfect sense, Shannon. It was lighthearted and fun, from the beginning, to what could have been a sombre ending, if told any differently. Well done 🙂
Thanks Kelly! I enjoyed writing this story and am pleased to hear that it made sense and was fun for you to read.