By J. Scott Shields
Claire waited to be alone before venturing into her mother’s closet.
She was old enough now that her mom didn’t have to miss work if she stayed home from school. Even so, Claire felt guilty about sliding open the mirrored door and seeing his clothes hanging above a pile of laundry. They were pushed to the side—the camo uniform and gear her dad had stacked on the bed two years before, along with his dog tags and holster.
Nobody had seen him since that day, although Claire believed she could still smell traces of cologne on his desert brown collar.
Nice work. I love the way you capture that private moment of a child trying to make sense of a tragedy. I think it’s something we’ve all experienced. I really enjoyed it.
I just read it to my middle school students…lovedo it! Precise but so emotional.
Excellent ability to convey so much with so little.
Quick moment with lifetime emotions attatched. Wow
Wonderful structure, and excellent distillation of the essence of the story. A prime example of “show, don’t tell”. Great job!
Excellent.