By Jean Barbaro
Maddie’s eyes widened in fear as the female officer approached, staring her down.
“Turn around. Arms out. Legs spread.”
She was in a crowded area, but she felt very much alone and started trembling. The officer’s hands moved aggressively up her legs, across her midriff, and deep into her waistband.
“Face me.”
Same procedure. Rougher now.
Finally the officer pulled the offending item from Maddie’s pocket: strawberry lip balm. She crushed it into Maddie’s hand.
“Get going.”
Maddie grabbed her purse and carry-on, jamming her feet into her shoes. Staggering to the airport gate, she ran the balm across her lips.
Cute and clever. So common today.
Thank you, Scott. I appreciate your feedback. It is common today, isn’t it, just as a person is expecting to sail right through!
Hah! This happened to me! My own fault for leaving the lip balm in my pocket.
Nicely done!
Thank you Coco. You made me chuckle when you said Hah! I imagine since everyone is in a rush, many people quite innocently leave one little thing or another in their pocket, and then it’s “Uh Oh…”
I felt the fear the character was feeling ….the anxiety….how uncomfortable she was with what was done to her….and then the relief to be free.
Thank you Ginny! Yes, such a range of emotions, right? So abruptly also, at a moment when this was the last thing one would have expected.
The way this was written, it makes you feel the anxiety and worry of this character. And the subject matter is very relevant to our current environment.
Thank you, AT. I’m glad you could feel the character’s anxiety and worry as you read. While a situation such as this may often work out well, if one is in the middle of that moment, unfortunately the fear takes front and center!
Good twist! Was not expecting that outcome.
Thank you, Emily. I’m glad you liked the twist that I was going for! Also glad I was able to offer my character that outcome. It was whew! Finally, for her.
This story had me at the title. I felt the terror Maddie must have been feeling. The abrupt unapologetic ending left me angry until I revisited the title and accepted that Maddie had herself under her lip balm control!
Thank you Nacie. You made me think of the movie line, “You had me at hello.” Funny. That little lip balm played quite a roll, didn’t it? Hero, in the end. My character’s best friend in her “recovery”.
First thought was Maddie’s in big trouble! What a great twist to have it be something so everyday in todays world. Hoping Maddie & her lip balm are on a beautiful beach enjoying a cocktail.
Thank you, Mary. Now there’s a nice thought – after her experience, Maddie on a beach with her lip balm – did someone say sequel?
All that story, content of emotions and a happy ending in 101 words?! I loved it!!! Maddie had better luck then me when they found a small flashlight in my purse! You would have though I had a bomb hidden it! I guess these days you never know! Glad Maddie’s experience was better!
Well done!!! ?
Thank you, Diana. The 101 aspect is a challenge but it also makes the writing fun! Good thing Maddie wasn’t carrying that flashlight. Hope you weren’t detained further and went on your way to a lovely trip!
Excellent, my mound was going elsewhere . How true!
Sorry I meant my mind!
Thank you, Steve. That was my hope, that the reader wasn’t sure what Maddie’s situation was, and whether or not she was in danger. Glad you liked it!
It was a great read what a plot twist.?
Thank you. Judy. I’m so glad you enjoyed my story. As I was writing it, I was also happy for the twist I could offer to Maddie, in her “great escape!”
Suspenseful with a nice twist. Everyone’s worst scenario at the airport playing out.
Thank you, Corey. It is indeed everyone’s dreaded scenario at the airport! Another reader commented on her own nightmare when she forgot she had a flashlight in her purse! Yipes. I’m glad you enjoyed the twist!
Great story about the world we live in today.
Thank you. Irene. So true that our world today puts us in a number of situations that would never had been on our minds in another place in time.
Well done for making a small incident into such a good story.
Thank you. Tom. It really struck me that such a small impact could have a deep effect on the individual involved, and this inspired my story. I appreciate your feedback.
Reminds me of a time or two of getting pulled over
Thank you, Tom. Getting pulled over or getting frisked – both tricky situations, calling for a deep breath and careful responses.
Maddie would tell you she gets where you’re coming from!