By Zara Khan
He had promised to take me to the beach that weekend. I gazed at the water in silence. His way of apologizing.
Guests poured in black waves. They touched me with their condolences and retreated back to the rest of their day. Words in praise of my husband told by my side. Hushed tones of pity kept between themselves.
Mom told me later that day how the pain would take many months to subside. Even years.
I tugged at my long sleeves and picked at the smudged concealer on my fingers.
She didn’t know the bruises had already started to fade.
This is an amazing twist to build in 100 words. Well done.
I agree. Excellently crafted.
Beautiful!
I like how this story unfolds linking ideas:
the promise of the beach – the viewing of the water
viewing of water – the guests pouring in black waves
black waves – smudged concealer
smudge concealer – to something first black (bruises) that have already begun to fade ( usually brown/yellow/green). So we see the heroine survived and know her villain is dead. Relief! Except … her silence about the abuse is a potentially deadly secret.
Well done!
Very clever twist, beautifully written.
This makes me sad. It’s very effective.
Well done, Zara.