Palmistry Gazette

By Richard Edenfield

He read his palm everyday like most people read the newspaper.

FRONT PAGE

Life line strong. Electric car 0-60 in minus 3 seconds.

WEATHER

You will have children and blunt trauma to the head. Other than that, 95 with a slight chance of liver failure. Tornados in NYC. Good sun line.

COMICS

You have good loop of humor. Donald Trump wins presidency—Angelina Jolie as vice president.

SPORTS NEWS

Don’t do sports. Indications of strong intellect. Yankees over Red Sox.

OBITUARY

A man crashes car while reading his palm. Wasn’t wearing heart line.

Deduction?

Don’t believe everything you read.