Lightning flickered, illuminating Don Ranzini’s office as he hid beside the grandfather clock. He’d heard his younger brother, Santino, whispering worrying words to cousin Luca all day: too old, after dark, unsuspecting, keep calm, piece of cake.
Over the clock’s ticking pendulum, Don Ranzini heard Santino and Luca tread carefully and quietly down the hallway towards his office. Assassins, driven by greed.
The door swung open, and as the two men entered, Don Ranzini stepped from the shadows, firing six rounds from a silenced pistol. Both men fell, as did the box Luca was carrying, spilling forth Don Ranzini’s birthday cake.
Great build up and amusing twist.
Great feeling of paranoia.
Great “surprise” ending. Very clever.
What a twisted ending! Well done!
Lovely twist for the paranoid character
Thank you all for your kind words. I’m glade you enjoyed my litle tale.
*little. Dammit! 🙂
oh no! what have I done?
Whoa – good ending!
Nice twist!
Well done. Great, totally believable twist.
Nice to find you on here, James! A little glimpse of mafia life. Well played with the birtday twist!
Thank you