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November 27, 2024 10 Comments

By Annika Speer

The adjunct professor refreshes her email. A message awaits from a university she’d submitted to months prior, her fifty-seventh job application. Mouth becomes sawdust, heartbeat quickens. Invitation to interview, she mentally manifests. Hesitating, she opens:

Dear [applicant name]:

Thank you for your interest. Unfortunately, after careful review, we are not moving forward with your application. We wish you professional success.

The rejection dispatcher heedlessly left ‘[applicant name]’ in their mass email, cc’ing rather than bcc’ing her fellows in failure. Worse, this career gatekeeper emptily wishing “professional success” used Comic Sans. Teary indignation clouding vision and judgment, she huffily clicks ‘Reply All.’

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. L. J. Caporusso says

    November 27, 2024 at 7:54 am

    Not Comic Sans!

    Reply
    • Trevor Woods says

      November 27, 2024 at 5:45 pm

      HAHA

      Reply
  2. Lisa H. Owens says

    November 27, 2024 at 9:17 am

    I love Comic Sans! Is that weird? I can only imagine what she’ll have to say in her “Reply All.”

    Reply
  3. Paul Scott Wood says

    November 27, 2024 at 9:48 am

    How rude! I wouldn’t want to work for them anyway.

    Reply
  4. Bud says

    November 27, 2024 at 10:17 am

    The Comic Sans comment is priceless.
    Great job!

    Reply
  5. Kathy Carroll says

    November 27, 2024 at 11:20 am

    A great laugh for the day! The addition of Comic Sans is inspired – even its designer has rejected it!

    Reply
  6. Ed Kratz says

    November 29, 2024 at 2:40 am

    Funny. And I had to look up comic sans.
    Well done.

    Reply
  7. Mike King says

    November 30, 2024 at 11:36 am

    Well done!

    Reply
  8. ANDY MILLMAN says

    December 4, 2024 at 12:18 am

    Great job. Writers probably really relate to that story!

    Reply
  9. Cathy L says

    December 6, 2024 at 8:53 pm

    “The rejection dispatcher heedlessly left ‘[applicant name]’ in their mass email”. Yes! This rings so true. The burn of not just being rejected but worse, generically rejected!

    Reply

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