Chloe pulled up at the rest stop as her car’s engine breathed its last. Fluorescent lights hummed as she entered.
She headed straight for the bathroom, washing her hair thoroughly, following the box dye instructions. First problem solved.
She dropped onto a seat opposite a trucker, who looked up briefly before retreating into his fog of newspaper and exhaustion. She sipped her coffee, played with her phone, until she heard his little snore.
Chloe casually picked up the keys and walked out. Climbing into the truck, she roared the engine to life and eased out onto the freeway. Second problem solved.
Wow. OK, so where does her next road take her? Problem three? Or the road to freedom? Great story, Amanda.
Good use of figurative language: “engine breathed its last,” and “fog of…exhaustion.”
Good example of showing in the use of the words “climbing into the truck.”
Mary E Falkner says