“Christ! She was a wild one,” Danny said.
“Weren’t you worried you would get caught?” the bartender asked.
“Nah. Who’d believe her? And it’s been months.”
“I don’t know. If I were you, I’d worry.”
“Fuck that. Who’s she gonna tell? Jesus, you pour them strong. Hit me again.”
“It’s not just the cops, you know. People can get all vengeful about their own.”
“She’s got a crippled drunk grandpa, and that’s it. Her brother’s away in whatsitsstan or some such place. Besides, it’d be my word against hers.”
“It’s Afghanistan.”
“What’s Afghanistan?”
“Where her brother was.”
“Was?”
The bartender smiled.
Not a word wasted. Brilliant and chilling!
Thanks, Carol!
fabulous!
Thanks, Rena
Such slime in this world. Excellent.
Thanks, Scott.
Those last three words clinched it. And you do dialogue well.
Thank you, Shoshauna.
I like the denoument of this story. It is very well and briefly told.
Thanks, Derek.
I’d enjoy watching actors perform this scene. Great rhythm. I’d like to read other events in this world.
Thank you, Cassandra – I like the idea of the performance.
Yes! Definitely can see this on stage or screen! So good.
Oh, yeah. This is top shelf!
Thanks, David! Much appreciated.
Fantastic. You really capture the character and make the reader want him to get what is coming!
Thanks, Angie!
Disturbing scene. Great writing. Had to read it twice, because I didn’t want to trust my first (and certainly correct) interpretation. Always appreciate how you say so much in so little.
Thank you!???
Wow! so much story in such few words. Awesome. Irene
Thanks Irene
Love this! So much happens in 101 words!
Thank you!
Excellent!!! Gets better each time I read it!
Thank you!
Nice! Really enjoyed that one.
Thank you!