By J. DiNenna
“Next!” called the technician.
“They promised me a woman.” Concetta had been waiting for thirty minutes with her fifteen-pound abdomen jellyfish clamping on her spinal cord and full bladder. No man could ever relate.
She hobbled behind the dude’s unhampered stride.
“It’s me or forget today.” He opened the door to a dark closet. “Strip.’’
Full bladder, long wait, naked. Other goodies for the day?
“Lie down.” The guy splattered cold jelly over her belly, jammed a gel-covered rod up her soft inside, scrutinized the screen. “Head perfect, nothing between the legs…”
“Perfect head—a girl!” Concetta relaxed. “There’s my woman.”
Great job! There’s a beginning, middle and end. It’s clear the genre is fantasy. Great word choices, ‘the dude’s unhampered stride’, shows me an irreverent elfin kind of character.
The ‘perfect head — a girl’. Using the head, rather than what’s not between the baby’s legs to determine gender tells me in a funny and cleaver way that Concetta doesn’t have much regard for men and I’ve been clearly told why.
I admire the work it’s taken to be able to write like this.
I love this beautiful piece of realistic fiction told so innovatively. The character’s clear preference for the female gender over the male gender, and how she already determined it was a girl just from the head and not the, “nothing between the legs”. I really enjoyed this!
P. S. I thought it was fantasy just until the middle paragraphs.
This is a wonderful piece, J. Well done!
Good story…enjoyed it.