I dropped my luggage in the hall and followed the garlic smell. Melanie looked out the kitchen’s screen door. Something was simmering.
“Another Petit Gris escaped.” She pointed.
Our property abutted a snail farm.
“He’s making a run for it,” I said.
She turned, eyes dark, arms folded. It’s been rough between us. We’d talked about separating. “Can’t blame him. His other option was to stay and be smothered in wine and butter.”
Yesterday, I said I felt smothered. “I’ll be at my sister’s.”
Melanie stirred the sauce. She didn’t turn around.
I wondered if the snail would survive on his own.
Very nice. (And btw, have been there. lol) I like so much how you took a tiny event and, in so few words, drew a rich picture of a relationship on the brink of dissolution.
Thank you, Albert. And sorry to hear you’ve “been there”.
Hi Liz, I had to read it twice and then figured out the relationship between the 2 characters. When I read Albert’s reply, I knew I was right. So happy your stories are being recognized.
I agree with Albert – Love how you present the story and in so few words. Left me enjoying the smells and activity in the kitchen and a bit sad for the snail. A wonderful read!
Glad to see your work being published. Keep up the good work!
This is a very poignant story that touches both emotions and senses
Nicely done
Wonderful imagery. Not everyone has the talent to say so much in so very few words. Keep it going, Liz.
WooHoo for getting published here and what a wonderful, thought-provoking story.
Love the character name and the back-and-forth between the two (or is it three characters here? 🙂 ) The story unfolds with such concise clarity, generating evocative mind pictures in my head.
Keep writing!
Love all of your reads!!
“Something was simmering” seems so positive on the first read, and then not. I love the subtle foreshadowing.
A lot of depth for 101 words. Lived it.
A lot of depth for 101 words. Lived it. Meant loved it. Both actually.
Thank you S. Webb.
Well done! This was spine tingling.
Brilliantly economical and sticky.
Thank you everyone for reading and commenting. I am moved knowing it made you feel something.