By Tim Boiteau
Yesterday—Thursday, October 10, 2019
8:31 PM how to deal with vagrants loitering in backyard
9:05 PM best methods of barricading doors windows
9:49 PM what to do if 911 dispatch doesn’t answer
10:30 PM how to treat and wrap a bite on thigh
11:24 PM pros cons of various body disposal techniques
Today—Friday, October 11, 2019
12:53 AM gangrene pics
12:55 AM how does gangrene smell
12:59 AM how quickly does gangrene develop? spread?
1:30 AM self-amputation techniques
2:33 AM hu man body temperature, how cold is too cold
3:13 AM hlp i wan t t o eat hmanflesh
6:25 AM Tim Boiteau free criminal background search ? just kidding, great use of style to get in the mind of your character!
The use of a timeline to move the plot works well. That’s great. You get the feel of the clock ticking down to something terrible and that builds suspense. My problem is the last line, which i understand the meaning to be if all spelled out is:
Help. I wanted to eat human flesh.
If I follow the plot correctly, it appears that a man is bitten by a variant who broke in. Help from the 911 call doesn’t come. The man kills the vagrant.The man gets gangrene from the bite. He’s starving and dying and he eats the flesh of the vagrant. I would think he ate the human flesh out of desperation, not because he wanted to. If this were his plan all along, why would he think of calling 911 in the beginning? Also, if the vagrant found a way to get in, why didn’t the man use that way to get out?
I’m knit picking, I know. A 101 word story requires the reader to guess or assume a lot, to fill in the gaps. This story leaves me guessing too much. Would be better as a longer story.
I think the loitering vagrants were actually zombies…
I dig it. I didn’t understand the story until the last line, and then it took a moment. That was satisfying. The story was not about what I thought it was – that was an effective twist. cheers
This is great – a very original take on the classic zombie tale. I thought the search history timeline was a really clever way of telling the story and portraying the character. The last line made me lol. Well written!
I love humor + zombies on a time line. I found this to be a fun read. Thanks.